Chibi-Usa, Ruler of the World! 
by Mark Doherty ( mdohert-@mailbox.uq.edu.au )  
(This one's too big to fall in my definition of spamfic. It was written on the fly, I really don't
care about spelling for it since it's a sillyfic. Comments are welcome.) 
++++ 
  
A large crowd gathered for the momentous occasion. "I, Neo-Queen Serenity, do hereby
abdicate the rulership of Crystal Tokyo. It has been a long road, and a sometimes difficult one,
but with all your support and love, I can honestly say I could not have hoped for better people
to be amongst." 
A cheer rippled through the crowd. 
"And now," Serenity continued, "it is time for the next generation to have its turn. You all
know my daughter, Usagi. She has grown into her role as princess, 
and now is the time for her to take on the mantle of Neo-Queen, ruler of Crystal Tokyo. May
she rule wise and well." 
Usagi, known as Chibi-Usa when she was a child, walked over to kneel before her mother.
She hid a small smile. She'd thought that she'd have years before she would rule, but her she
was. She'd be able to boss around everyone, and get 
as much icecream as she wanted. 
Sadly, some things had not changed about her. 
Serenity touched her daughter's forehead with the current incarnation of her Moon scepter,
the Moon Pretty Fine Looking Stick Thingy What Blasts Youma. "I give all my titles to you.
Rise, Neo-Queen Usagi." Usagi, the new ruler of Crystal Tokyo, stood. It was the greatest
moment of her life, and all the people she had grown up with, fought with in fact, were there
to see it. Her mother and father watched on proudly, Venus smiled sunnily 
at her, Jupiter nodded to her, Pluto looked at her watch... Usagi blinked. Pluto had a watch?
Why would she need one? One thought permeated her mind: 
Uh oh. 
With a deafening roar, a demon-king appeared above the crowd's heads. "I am the Dread
Lord Cyril, master of the Great Hellspawn of the Galarrrgh... sorry, bug in my throat.
*Cough* *cough* Great Hellspawn of the Galactic Plane! My power is mighty, my evil is
unparalleled, and I park in handicapped zones!" The crowd gasped. 
"I have come, seeking..." 
"A shrubbery?" quipped one member of the crowd. The demon-king lobbed a fireball at the
joker. As the person ran around in the background, screaming and beating at his burning
clothes, the hellspawn cleared his throat. "A bride. I come, seeking a bride. Only the best shall
satisfy one of my immense and evil power. The lesser ones complain about my bad breath too
much. And so, I choose the ruler of this place. Who would that be?" 
Thousands of eyes turned to their new queen. 
"Save me!" wailed Usagi in almost as fine a voice as her mother at her whiniest. 
"We'll protect you, our queen!" Mars shouted, as the Senshi leapt to the fray. Jupiter got
within ten feet before she staggered theatrically, moaned "Such an awesomely fast blow, I did
not see it! My queen, I am sorry!" After that, she swayed a bit and collapsed. She rubbed an
elbow that had landed badly, said "Ow." and then promptly fell 'unconscious'. "Huh?" Cyril
replied wittily, looking down at his fist. "My turn, evil beast dog spawn of hell!" cried Mars.
She clutched her forehead, 
before she cried out "Oh no! His evil overwhelms my sensative psychic powers. His oozing
miasma of nastiness--" 
"I'm not that bad, really..." Cyril protested. "Shutup. His oozing miasma of nastiness has
overcome me!" With that, she promptly fell over, unconscious. 
"Evil monster, " Venus started before she sighed, shrugged her shoulders, and said "Ah, forget
it." and keeled over. 
Everyone looked at Mercury. She coughed, and said "Sorry, got the flu. Couldn't 
possibly fight today." 
"Well that's that then." dread demon-king Cyril said, as Uranus and Neptune staggered by in
the background, both drunk and singing something about a milk bottle, a vicar, and three small
lemon trees. "I guess nothing's stopping us from marrying, right Queenie?" 
"Hold it right there!" Saturn protested. "I'm still fighting fit!" Serenity walked up to the Senshi
of Life and Death. "Your shoelaces are untied." 
she advised in a soft voice. 
"What? They are?" She looked down, allowing Serenity to conk her over the head with her
Moon Pretty Fine Looking Stick Thingy What Blasts Youma. Saturn dropped to the floor,
possibly the only one in the place not faking their unconsciousness. 
"Such tragedy!" Endymion wailed. "And here's me without my roses. Oh well." "I can't take
on a demon-king by myself!" Usagi protested. "Mommy, help me!" "That just wouldn't be
right, dear. You're queen now, you have to handle your problems for yourself." 
"But... but..." 
"Right." Cyril noted, shaking his head. The sooner he got out of this madhouse the better.
"Thanks for the bride, and I'll see you in hell." He laughed, and said "I always wanted to say
that." before he swooped down and grabbed Neo-Queen Usagi, and flew off into the sky. 
"Bye!" all the Senshi but Saturn cried out, having miraculously recovered. They waved happily
to the departing figures. 
"Have fun!" Venus cried out, dabbing theatrically at one eye with a hankie. "Don't forget to
write!" Jupiter shouted, waving her hand energetically. "Call us before visiting!" Mercury
added, waving half-heartedly. The minute the demon-king and his bride were out of eyeshot,
they stopped waving. 
"Such tragedy has befallen us!" Mars cried out to the assembled crowd. "Our leader is gone!
Who shall guide us now?" 
"I think what we need now is an experienced hand." Mercury noted to the crowd. "I nominate
Serenity, former Neo-Queen, to the position again." "I second that motion!" cried out the
former king, Endymion. Pluto took another look at her watch. "I nominate Mars." she stated
calmly into the sudden silence. 
Mars blinked. Uh oh.